<?
/*
-------------------------------------------------------------------
quick script to grab a random BOFH excuse.
- Peter Lowe // pgl@yoyo.org // http://pgl.yoyo.org/bofh/
credit to Jeff Ballard <ballard@NOSPAMcs.wisc.edu> for the original
bofh excuse server: http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/
-------------------------------------------------------------------
[2004-08-28] odd:
http://wiki.asleep.net/BOFHInetdPHP?show_comments=1
http://pgl.yoyo.org/bofh/ripoff.html (local copy)
someone's ripped off this code and signed it with
"author A.Sleep <a.sleep@asleep.net>"
it's not exactly the same, but it's definitely based off this code.
how strange. oh well.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
*/
// $excusefile can either be a local file like this:
$excusefile = 'excuses.txt';
// or you can use a url to make sure you're using the latest excuses file:
#$excusefile = 'http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/excuses';
// netscape 4 breaks when style files disappear, plus we save an extra
// header if the stylesheet is included:
$stylefile = 'style.inc';
function excuse($excusefile) {
if (!$excuses = @file($excusefile))
return "couldn't read excuse file '$excusefile'";
mt_srand((double)microtime()*1000000); // not necessary after php 4.2.0
return $excuses[mt_rand(0, count($excuses)-1)];
}
?>
<html>
<head>
<meta name="description" content="bofh excuse server that doesn't require mysql, perl or any other unnecessary crap.">
<meta name="keywords" content="bofh, bofh excuse server, bofh excuse generator, excuse, excuses">
<? include 'metatags.inc'; ?>
<title>
bofh excuse server
</title>
Warning: Undefined variable $style_head in /in/qSFIV on line 55
</head>
<body>
<p><b>your excuse:</b>
Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Call to undefined function excuse() in /in/qSFIV:61
Stack trace:
#0 {main}
thrown in /in/qSFIV on line 61
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 8.0.13
<html>
<head>
<meta name="description" content="bofh excuse server that doesn't require mysql, perl or any other unnecessary crap.">
<meta name="keywords" content="bofh, bofh excuse server, bofh excuse generator, excuse, excuses">
Warning: include(metatags.inc): Failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /in/qSFIV on line 49
Warning: include(): Failed opening 'metatags.inc' for inclusion (include_path='.:') in /in/qSFIV on line 49
<title>
bofh excuse server
</title>
Warning: Undefined variable $style_head in /in/qSFIV on line 55
</head>
<body>
<p><b>your excuse:</b> couldn't read excuse file 'excuses.txt'
<p> [ <a href="../">back</a>
| <a href="
Warning: Undefined variable $PHP_SELF in /in/qSFIV on line 64
">another excuse</a>
| <a href="bofh.phps">source</a>
| <a href="shellscript.php">bourne shell version</a>
| <a href="excuses.txt">excuses.txt</a>
]
<p> [ <a href="http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/">bofh excuse server homepage</a>
| <a href="http://piro.dnsq.org/~bbj/bofh/">ben jackson's ASP version</a>
| <a href="http://www.asleep.net/soap/">SOAP version</a> <!-- even though this guy copied code from here and attributed it to himself (see bofh.phps)! -->
| <a href="telnet://towel.blinkenlights.nl:666">telnet server</a>
]
</body>
</html>
Output for 5.4.0 - 5.4.45, 5.5.0 - 5.5.38, 7.4.33
<html>
<head>
<meta name="description" content="bofh excuse server that doesn't require mysql, perl or any other unnecessary crap.">
<meta name="keywords" content="bofh, bofh excuse server, bofh excuse generator, excuse, excuses">
Warning: include(metatags.inc): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /in/qSFIV on line 49
Warning: include(): Failed opening 'metatags.inc' for inclusion (include_path='.:') in /in/qSFIV on line 49
<title>
bofh excuse server
</title>
Notice: Undefined variable: style_head in /in/qSFIV on line 55
</head>
<body>
<p><b>your excuse:</b> couldn't read excuse file 'excuses.txt'
<p> [ <a href="../">back</a>
| <a href="
Notice: Undefined variable: PHP_SELF in /in/qSFIV on line 64
">another excuse</a>
| <a href="bofh.phps">source</a>
| <a href="shellscript.php">bourne shell version</a>
| <a href="excuses.txt">excuses.txt</a>
]
<p> [ <a href="http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/">bofh excuse server homepage</a>
| <a href="http://piro.dnsq.org/~bbj/bofh/">ben jackson's ASP version</a>
| <a href="http://www.asleep.net/soap/">SOAP version</a> <!-- even though this guy copied code from here and attributed it to himself (see bofh.phps)! -->
| <a href="telnet://towel.blinkenlights.nl:666">telnet server</a>
]
</body>
</html>
<?
/*
-------------------------------------------------------------------
quick script to grab a random BOFH excuse.
- Peter Lowe // pgl@yoyo.org // http://pgl.yoyo.org/bofh/
credit to Jeff Ballard <ballard@NOSPAMcs.wisc.edu> for the original
bofh excuse server: http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/
-------------------------------------------------------------------
[2004-08-28] odd:
http://wiki.asleep.net/BOFHInetdPHP?show_comments=1
http://pgl.yoyo.org/bofh/ripoff.html (local copy)
someone's ripped off this code and signed it with
"author A.Sleep <a.sleep@asleep.net>"
it's not exactly the same, but it's definitely based off this code.
how strange. oh well.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
*/
// $excusefile can either be a local file like this:
$excusefile = 'excuses.txt';
// or you can use a url to make sure you're using the latest excuses file:
#$excusefile = 'http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/excuses';
// netscape 4 breaks when style files disappear, plus we save an extra
// header if the stylesheet is included:
$stylefile = 'style.inc';
function excuse($excusefile) {
if (!$excuses = @file($excusefile))
return "couldn't read excuse file '$excusefile'";
mt_srand((double)microtime()*1000000); // not necessary after php 4.2.0
return $excuses[mt_rand(0, count($excuses)-1)];
}
?>
<html>
<head>
<meta name="description" content="bofh excuse server that doesn't require mysql, perl or any other unnecessary crap.">
<meta name="keywords" content="bofh, bofh excuse server, bofh excuse generator, excuse, excuses">
<? include 'metatags.inc'; ?>
<title>
bofh excuse server
</title>
Notice: Undefined variable: style_head in /in/qSFIV on line 55
</head>
<body>
<p><b>your excuse:</b>
Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Call to undefined function excuse() in /in/qSFIV:61
Stack trace:
#0 {main}
thrown in /in/qSFIV on line 61
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 7.3.32 - 7.3.33
<html>
<head>
<meta name="description" content="bofh excuse server that doesn't require mysql, perl or any other unnecessary crap.">
<meta name="keywords" content="bofh, bofh excuse server, bofh excuse generator, excuse, excuses">
Warning: include(metatags.inc): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /in/qSFIV on line 49
Warning: include(): Failed opening 'metatags.inc' for inclusion (include_path='.:') in /in/qSFIV on line 49
<title>
bofh excuse server
</title>
</head>
<body>
<p><b>your excuse:</b> couldn't read excuse file 'excuses.txt'
<p> [ <a href="../">back</a>
| <a href="">another excuse</a>
| <a href="bofh.phps">source</a>
| <a href="shellscript.php">bourne shell version</a>
| <a href="excuses.txt">excuses.txt</a>
]
<p> [ <a href="http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/">bofh excuse server homepage</a>
| <a href="http://piro.dnsq.org/~bbj/bofh/">ben jackson's ASP version</a>
| <a href="http://www.asleep.net/soap/">SOAP version</a> <!-- even though this guy copied code from here and attributed it to himself (see bofh.phps)! -->
| <a href="telnet://towel.blinkenlights.nl:666">telnet server</a>
]
</body>
</html>
<html>
<head>
<meta name="description" content="bofh excuse server that doesn't require mysql, perl or any other unnecessary crap.">
<meta name="keywords" content="bofh, bofh excuse server, bofh excuse generator, excuse, excuses">
Warning: include(): open_basedir restriction in effect. File(metatags.inc) is not within the allowed path(s): (/tmp:/in:/etc) in /in/qSFIV on line 49
Warning: include(metatags.inc): failed to open stream: Operation not permitted in /in/qSFIV on line 49
Warning: include(): Failed opening 'metatags.inc' for inclusion (include_path='.:') in /in/qSFIV on line 49
<title>
bofh excuse server
</title>
Notice: Undefined variable: style_head in /in/qSFIV on line 55
</head>
<body>
<p><b>your excuse:</b> couldn't read excuse file 'excuses.txt'
<p> [ <a href="../">back</a>
| <a href="
Notice: Undefined variable: PHP_SELF in /in/qSFIV on line 64
">another excuse</a>
| <a href="bofh.phps">source</a>
| <a href="shellscript.php">bourne shell version</a>
| <a href="excuses.txt">excuses.txt</a>
]
<p> [ <a href="http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/">bofh excuse server homepage</a>
| <a href="http://piro.dnsq.org/~bbj/bofh/">ben jackson's ASP version</a>
| <a href="http://www.asleep.net/soap/">SOAP version</a> <!-- even though this guy copied code from here and attributed it to himself (see bofh.phps)! -->
| <a href="telnet://towel.blinkenlights.nl:666">telnet server</a>
]
</body>
</html>
<?
/*
-------------------------------------------------------------------
quick script to grab a random BOFH excuse.
- Peter Lowe // pgl@yoyo.org // http://pgl.yoyo.org/bofh/
credit to Jeff Ballard <ballard@NOSPAMcs.wisc.edu> for the original
bofh excuse server: http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/
-------------------------------------------------------------------
[2004-08-28] odd:
http://wiki.asleep.net/BOFHInetdPHP?show_comments=1
http://pgl.yoyo.org/bofh/ripoff.html (local copy)
someone's ripped off this code and signed it with
"author A.Sleep <a.sleep@asleep.net>"
it's not exactly the same, but it's definitely based off this code.
how strange. oh well.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
*/
// $excusefile can either be a local file like this:
$excusefile = 'excuses.txt';
// or you can use a url to make sure you're using the latest excuses file:
#$excusefile = 'http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/excuses';
// netscape 4 breaks when style files disappear, plus we save an extra
// header if the stylesheet is included:
$stylefile = 'style.inc';
function excuse($excusefile) {
if (!$excuses = @file($excusefile))
return "couldn't read excuse file '$excusefile'";
mt_srand((double)microtime()*1000000); // not necessary after php 4.2.0
return $excuses[mt_rand(0, count($excuses)-1)];
}
?>
<html>
<head>
<meta name="description" content="bofh excuse server that doesn't require mysql, perl or any other unnecessary crap.">
<meta name="keywords" content="bofh, bofh excuse server, bofh excuse generator, excuse, excuses">
<? include 'metatags.inc'; ?>
<title>
bofh excuse server
</title>
<?=$style_head?>
</head>
<body>
<p><b>your excuse:</b> <?=excuse($excusefile)?>
<p> [ <a href="../">back</a>
| <a href="<?=$PHP_SELF?>">another excuse</a>
| <a href="bofh.phps">source</a>
| <a href="shellscript.php">bourne shell version</a>
| <a href="excuses.txt">excuses.txt</a>
]
<p> [ <a href="http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofh/">bofh excuse server homepage</a>
| <a href="http://piro.dnsq.org/~bbj/bofh/">ben jackson's ASP version</a>
| <a href="http://www.asleep.net/soap/">SOAP version</a> <!-- even though this guy copied code from here and attributed it to himself (see bofh.phps)! -->
| <a href="telnet://towel.blinkenlights.nl:666">telnet server</a>
]
</body>
</html>