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<?php final class Approximator { public static function __callStatic($name, $arguments) { $proximityMap = self::getProximityMap($name); for ($proximity = 0; $proximity <= 3; $proximity++) { if (isset($proximityMap[$proximity][0])) { shuffle($proximityMap[$proximity]); return call_user_func_array($proximityMap[$proximity][0], $arguments); } } throw new Exception('Sorry, I-a don\'t understoond whet yooo meoont. Bork Bork Bork!'); } private static function getProximityMap($called) { $proximityMap = []; $definedMap = get_defined_functions(); foreach (array_merge($definedMap['internal'], $definedMap['user']) as $defined) { $proximityMap[levenshtein($called, $defined)][] = $defined; } return $proximityMap; } } var_dump(Approximator::var_dump('noodles')); var_dump(Approximator::ver_dump('noodles')); var_dump(Approximator::ver_dermp('noodles')); var_dump(Approximator::voor_doomp('noodles'));
Output for 7.0.0 - 7.0.33, 7.1.0 - 7.1.33, 7.2.0 - 7.2.25, 7.3.0 - 7.3.12, 7.4.0
string(7) "noodles" NULL string(7) "noodles" NULL string(7) "noodles" NULL Fatal error: Uncaught Exception: Sorry, I-a don't understoond whet yooo meoont. Bork Bork Bork! in /in/aTNki:15 Stack trace: #0 /in/aTNki(33): Approximator::__callStatic('voor_doomp', Array) #1 {main} thrown in /in/aTNki on line 15
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 5.4.0 - 5.4.45, 5.5.0 - 5.5.38, 5.6.0 - 5.6.40
string(7) "noodles" NULL string(7) "noodles" NULL string(7) "noodles" NULL Fatal error: Uncaught exception 'Exception' with message 'Sorry, I-a don't understoond whet yooo meoont. Bork Bork Bork!' in /in/aTNki:15 Stack trace: #0 /in/aTNki(33): Approximator::__callStatic('voor_doomp', Array) #1 /in/aTNki(33): Approximator::voor_doomp('noodles') #2 {main} thrown in /in/aTNki on line 15
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 5.1.0 - 5.1.6, 5.2.0 - 5.2.17, 5.3.0 - 5.3.29
Parse error: syntax error, unexpected '[' in /in/aTNki on line 20
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 5.0.0 - 5.0.5
Parse error: parse error, unexpected '[' in /in/aTNki on line 20
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 4.4.2 - 4.4.9
Parse error: syntax error, unexpected T_CLASS in /in/aTNki on line 3
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 4.3.0 - 4.3.1, 4.3.5 - 4.3.11, 4.4.0 - 4.4.1
Parse error: parse error, unexpected T_CLASS in /in/aTNki on line 3
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 4.3.2 - 4.3.4
Parse error: parse error in /in/aTNki on line 3
Process exited with code 255.
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