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run code in 300+ PHP versions simultaneously

@ 2014-09-17T15:36:31Z

<?php

final class Approximator
{

	public static $wtfThreshold = 7;

    public static function __callStatic($name, $arguments)
    {
        $proximityMap = self::getProximityMap($name);
        for ($proximity = 0; $proximity <= (int) self::$wtfThreshold; $proximity++) {
            if (isset($proximityMap[$proximity][0])) {
                shuffle($proximityMap[$proximity]);
                return call_user_func_array($proximityMap[$proximity][0], $arguments);
            }
        }
        throw new Exception('Sorry, I-a don\'t understoond whet yooo meoont. Bork Bork Bork!');
    }

    private static function getProximityMap($called)
    {
        $proximityMap = [];
        $definedMap = get_defined_functions();
        foreach (array_merge($definedMap['internal'], $definedMap['user']) as $defined) {
            $proximityMap[levenshtein($called, $defined)][] = $defined;
        }
        return $proximityMap;
    }

}

var_dump(Approximator::strtoupper('noodles'));

Output for 5.4.0 - 5.4.45, 5.5.24 - 5.5.35, 5.6.7 - 5.6.21, 7.0.0 - 7.0.20, 7.1.0 - 7.1.25, 7.2.0 - 7.2.13, 7.3.0 - 7.3.1: string(7) "NOODLES"
Output for 5.1.0 - 5.1.6, 5.2.0 - 5.2.17, 5.3.0 - 5.3.29: Parse error: syntax error, unexpected '[' in /in/4P1bf on line 22
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 5.0.0 - 5.0.5: Parse error: parse error, unexpected '[' in /in/4P1bf on line 22
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 4.4.2 - 4.4.9: Parse error: syntax error, unexpected T_CLASS in /in/4P1bf on line 3
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 4.3.0 - 4.3.1, 4.3.5 - 4.3.11, 4.4.0 - 4.4.1: Parse error: parse error, unexpected T_CLASS in /in/4P1bf on line 3
Process exited with code 255.
Output for 4.3.2 - 4.3.4: Parse error: parse error in /in/4P1bf on line 3
Process exited with code 255.

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